True Confessions

I had Chinese for dinner tonight. That's totally not on the Medifast diet, not even the nursing mothers diet. And you know what? It was GOOD! I had beef and broccoli with just a little rice. And as soon as I started to feel a little full, I stopped. (Might need to have my husband eat the leftovers). I don't know how this will effect the scale on Monday. I don't know if I will regret this tomorrow. But what I'm not doing is having an egg roll with my beef and broccoli. I'm not having cherry coke and fast food and pizza. I'm not having any of the brownies my son made for the fire department open house. I'm not having Starbuck's chai latte when I went to Target today. I'm not having Halloween candy. I'm not having the spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread I made for my family for dinner last night. I'm not having buttered popcorn and M&M's while I watched Breaking Bad tonight. I'm not having pumpkin donuts and apple cider (oh how I miss you!).

Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Fatigue and Food Choices

It's hard to function as the mom I want to be, much less make the right food choices, on two hours of sleep. Baby girl has 4 teeth poking through right now and just wanted to nurse all night for comfort. And I'm so tired I'm twitching with restless leg syndrome.

This is one of the things I look forward to about starting Medifast on Monday. The food choices have already been decided for me and they are quick and easy. That's gonna help on these tired days when I struggle more with wanting to eat high-caloric, high-fat, high-carb foods to comfort me.

I decided to take the kids to Vander Mill for donuts and cider and they each got a small pumpkin to bring home and paint. I brought my camera, hoping for a picture or two of the kids with a pumpkin or two but spent most of my time chasing after my 20 month old who was more interested in running into the parking lot than playing on the play equipment. I especially wanted a picture of my son sitting on this really cool log surrounded by pumpkins...

Doesn't this look like a perfect spot to get a picture? My son was not impressed.

Some days my son is photo happy and will humor his Momma behind the camera. It wasn't happening today. I even heard myself saying, "Of all the things I do for you and you won't sit and let me take this one picture of you!?!"

Oh boy. That is so not the Mommy I want to be. I'm so tired I could cry.


Time for some self-talk, Momma...

"Let this go. Go play with your son and respond to him and talk with him and DO NOT punish him with silence as you're apt to do. It is ok for him to not want you to take his picture."

Sigh.

I'm so grateful this day is over. It just needed to be over. And I'm grateful for my son and daughter's ease at letting the day go and forgiving me when I'm exhausted and impatient and irritable and demanding the perfect photo op.

I just need a long hot shower and early to bed.

This helps. And just makes me happy. And 0 calories! Ha!

Here's hoping for some precious greatly-needed sleep tonight.