A little help

So, I made a decision. I'm going back on Medifast to lose this weight. I lost 30 pounds doing Medifast through Take Shape for Life in 2010 before getting pregnant with my second child. It's time to go back. I don't know why I have not been able to do it on my own. Am I lazy? Have no will power? No self-discipline? Is it because of my life stage right now with two little ones and little sleep? Whatever the reason(s), I have decided to stop fighting it and just get help. Why continue on my own when it's not working and only leading to guilt, shame, and frustration?

I want to give a shout out to a blog I just discovered who helped in inspiring me to go back on Medifast. Allison has been blogging on O My Family about her 30 + lb weight loss. She also is nursing her little one and writes about her experience on the Medifast Nursing Mothers Program, as well as her "total motherhood experience" with two little ones, marriage, faith, etc. Thankful to have discovered her blog and looking forward to following it. To be honest, and that's what I strive to be on this blog, when I first was reading her Medifast weight loss journey I was jealous - jealous that she's already 9 months in and all the weight she has lost when I am just beginning. But then I thought, you know what, no, I don't need to go there. There is enough envy and comparison and self-hatred going around, especially between women. You know what we as a community of women need more of - encouraging and celebrating one another, all the more so when we want something they have.

So when my first shipment of Medifast food arrives, I'll be raising my first glass (shake) to Allison and others in this process of getting healthy. Because losing weight is never easy. It's never just about dropping pounds. There's so much emotion involved. There's this whole relationship we have with food and exercise and beauty and beliefs we have about our body-image and our self-worth that gets all stirred up when we go about trying to lose weight. We get on the scale and we stand in front of the mirror when what we're really doing is facing ourselves. And that can be very difficult, especially when we've been avoiding it for some time.

So I begin again. October 1. Stay tuned.